I’ll be the first to say that trying to impress people is a useless lost cause. There’s hundreds of books written about our human nature that prompts us to buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like. If you haven’t read much on the psychology of that, I’d recommend it. Perhaps start with “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel.

But don’t you want to be impressive?

I do. And I think you should too, and I think trying to be impressive is different from trying to impress. Being impressive is something you define for yourself. Trying to impress relies on others.

Don’t do it for anyone else. Do it for yourself. The validation we hope to receive by impressing others never comes, but again, this does not mean we should allow ourselves to become anything less than impressive.

What’s impressive is having the confidence to not worry about impressing anyone. When it’s about who you are and what you do rather than who you know and what you own.

Become someone you would be impressed by. Do things you would be impressed by. If you can do that for yourself, that’s impressive.

So look back on your body of work so far. How does it look? Not to your friends or colleagues or even to your family. What does your body of work look like to you? Are you impressed with all you’ve done and accomplished? Are you proud to represent who you’ve become?

It’s a thought I couldn’t help thinking after hiring a new cleaner to do some work in the gym. I told them I wanted them to focus on the mirrors and the bathrooms. I told them not to worry about the floors or the entry way because they were already clean. Well, they did exactly that. The mirrors and bathrooms were clean and they clearly didn’t worry about the entry or the floors, because they were now dirty.

When I came by after they had left all I could see was the work that I would have to do now that I hired someone to do the work I was trying to avoid. Sure the mirrors looked great, but half the time I saved by hiring someone was then spent on cleaning up their mess. I thought out loud, well that’s not very impressive.

It’s tough because this cleaning company was a referral. Someone recommended them to me. They earnestly took the job and wanted to do right by the person who recommended them. They earnestly asked for feedback when I emailed asking how they’d like to be paid (never make someone do the work to pay you, make it easy to pay, see Coffee With Cody Issue #50). I said the mirrors look great, and they still haven’t told me how to pay. Will they be paid more than once? Unlikely.

The point here is not that they did a poor job, because they did an excellent job doing what they were told to do. But if they took a moment and decided that they were going to be an impressive cleaning company, they would have earned an ongoing contract to do even more than the bathrooms and mirrors. I just can’t imagine someone looking back on that body of work thinking to themselves that’s an impressive cleaning job.

Be an impressive cleaner. Be an impressive boss. Be an impressive student/caretaker/uber driver. Not for anyone else. Do it for yourself. Looking to impress others won’t get you far, but looking at an impressive person in the mirror can unlock anything you want.

Look in the mirror more often, and if you don’t like what you see, make it better. Before you leave the job, take a scan of the area. Is it better or worse than when you arrived? Make sure it’s better. If your hand is on something, make sure your impact is a good one.

Earnestly ask yourself for feedback. How did today go? How can tomorrow be better? Not for anyone else. This is for you, and it’s the only way to be there for others when they need you at your best.

See you next Thursday.

— Cody

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