50. Let Me Help You Get Help

If you’re going to send an invoice, send specific instructions on how you would like to be paid. Include exact amounts, payment options, instructions for each and a due date. That is if you want to be in the habit of getting paid.

Be clear with how you want people to help you. Don’t say please help without describing exactly how and when. Furthermore, don’t ask everyone for help, ask someone. Nobody will put themselves at your service willingly unless it’s your idea. They may offer, but there won’t be a line up of people waiting to help you, hire you, pay you, support you or do you favours unless you’re specific with exactly who and how.

Even food delivery services know this. If you’ve ever thought to yourself that you just want someone else to come over and make you dinner, then you know what I’m talking about. You can’t ask DoorDash to bring you dinner. You have to say exactly what you want, where you want it, when you want it and how much you’re willing to pay for it. Only then will they bring you dinner.

Don’t ask for help because that’s too vague. Don’t ask everyone because no one will feel singled out. State what it is you’re trying to do and list what needs to be done, then present the request to someone on purpose. You will be far more successful in getting help if you make it known what you’re looking for and make sure who you’re looking for gets the message first.

This is a great lesson in sales, but also directly applicable to every day life. It’s about marketing that’s directly geared towards something specific to a narrowly targeted audience.

What approach do you think would be more effective in getting help?

• Message into the family group chat of 17 people: “Can anyone help me move next weekend?”

• Separate texts directly to Sam and Joe, your strongest 2 local relatives: “Can you help me move on Saturday October 12th starting at 10am? It will be 3 couches, a bed and a room full of boxes and I need it to be out by 12pm. We’re taking it to 123 Four Street in Timbucktoo, which I get the keys for at 12:30pm the same day. I’ve got a moving truck for everything, I just need a bit more muscle. Lunch on me when we’re done.”

Don’t be vague when asking for help. Make it easy. Make it attractive. Why do you think when you get a speeding ticket you get a discount if you pay it quickly? Because it’s more likely that you’ll actually pay it without a fuss. If it’s easy, you’re more likely going to do something for someone else. If there’s no start time, end time, cost, due date or instructions, you probably wouldn’t volunteer.

To ask anyone for a mere favour is a completely unfair ask unless it’s immediately followed by the specific ask. Don’t put people in a tough spot by not filling them in on the details. Don’t make people guess what you’re trying to accomplish when you’re recruiting help, and don’t get upset when people don’t help you achieve your goals. It’s your responsibility to communicate to those around you what you need from them. If you don’t do that, you’re on your own, which brings me to a final thought.