107. Embracing Discomfort

One of my favourite lessons from my university degree came from my sports nutrition professor when he said it’s okay to be hungry. Facing questions from a classroom full of busy students trying to manage their courses, friends, sports, work and extra curricular endeavours, he paused to make that lesson clear. Sometimes your class calendar doesn’t allow a break between 11am and 1pm, and that’s okay. Sometimes what’s considered optimal is just not going to happen, and that’s okay.

You can eat later. All of the food isn’t gone. Take a deep breath and realize that you can, in fact, still function at a reasonably high level without lunch. If you’re hungry right now, you’re going to be okay.

It’s uncomfortable, and it’s okay. You’re going to be fine.

I tell people the same thing when they suffer through their first workout with me. Yet, as much as I set expectations for what’s about to happen, it seems to come as a surprise, and something that ought not to happen.

Changing your body, your mind and your life is going to be difficult and you will be uncomfortable. We need to stop being caught off guard by that, and we need to embrace it.

If you know you’re going to be uncomfortable, when it happens, it’s not that big a deal. When it’s expected, you can focus on what Ray Dalio might refer to as the second level consequence of your actions. The first level consequence of your actions might be that you’re stuck in an uncomfortable situation. The second level consequence might be that your discomfort leads to a life changing opportunity.

Let’s build our tolerance for discomfort so we can break through to something better. This is why people cold plunge. To get used to feeling uncomfortable. Sure, there’s plenty of science behind what the shock to the body does, but it’s a perfect metaphor for training to be okay when things get uncomfortable.

When you can’t sleep the night before a big meeting. It’s okay. You can sleep after. When your legs are burning and there’s still 5 kilometres to go in your marathon. It’s okay. You can rest later.

Discomfort doesn’t last forever, but it never ends. When my alarm goes off at 3:45am every day, the feeling of dread subsides every day in short order, but it never gets easier. It sucks every time, especially when the first thing I have to do is go outside with the dog, even if it’s pouring rain. Or when I’m standing in front of the dumbbells, trying to find the courage to pick them up and lunge with them 40 meters. I know the upcoming pain won’t last forever, but it’s still hard every time.

As Jim Rohn would say, “not to think so would be naive.”

Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Think about the things that make you quiver. What if they didn’t? Knowing what you do about yourself, is it not reasonable to predict how you could react to upcoming scenarios and then plan accordingly? Sure it may be uncomfortable, but if you know it’s coming, can’t you plan a better reaction?

Here’s a silly example, but one that at its core, can illustrate how to live a more freeing life. We had a new friend over to our home for dinner one night. Their idea to connect, so we said great come have dinner with us. We made an awesome meal, hung out in the kitchen and then sat down to eat. It’s a personal pet peeve of mine to talk while chewing food, so we avoid it at all costs. That being the case, there were inevitable moments of silence while we all chomped on our chicken katsu. In these moments were textbook examples of the phrase it’s only weird if you make it weird. Our new friend made the evening weird by displaying a palpable feeling of discomfort during even the slightest break in conversation.

“Soooooo…” he would say, as if to break what he felt was awkward silence. I’d swallow my food in a hurry and continue on, knowing we wouldn’t likely invite our guest back. We felt penalized for taking a moment to chew our food, and it was because this person was uncomfortable in silence. After dinner we didn’t say let’s go sit in the living room and carry on. We said thanks for coming.

When entering a new environment, remove your expectations and prepare for experiences you haven’t had before. It may be uncomfortable. In fact, it probably will be, considering anything new tends to be.

And that’s okay.

You can exude the feeling of comfort in situations that others might feel uncomfortable with by training your mind that it’s normal. And it is normal! Heck, stress is normal, and it’s good! So don’t worry about it!

That’s a lot of exclamation points, but that’s how strongly I feel about the necessity of preparing for discomfort. Here’s the thing. High performing people in all categories are the same as you. They’re stressed out, they’re lacking sleep, they’re always thinking about money, they want to eat more than they should and they hate working out. The difference is that they’ve trained themselves to function regardless.

In times of discomfort, I like to smile to myself. My wife catches me sometimes and wonders what’s so funny. Sometimes nothing is funny, but that’s beside the point, because I’ve trained myself to smile through anything, and I’ve found it to be useful.

— Cody

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See you next Thursday.

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